Welcome to this weeks Flow Feature! We hope you have all had a marvellous week and enjoyed watching as our favourite band members either ventured around the world or settled in to family life for the next year. This weeks Flow Feature is on Hazel Coleman!
For Hazel, that first moment of discovery was during the summer holidays in 2009. She was fourteen at the time, but remembers that exact moment that Florence + The Machine entered and changed her life. It was the last holiday that Hazel would be free from the workforce, and she had spent it well, chatting on the internet with friends, listening to music and writing her own songs. As her years of freedom were coming to a close, the years of rebellion and pushing boundaries were just beginning. She had started talking to a boy
that would tragically go on to be her first love, started hanging out with new people and drinking energy drinks, all the while thinking she was ‘so cool’.
Later in the holidays while staying with her grandparents, Hazel was dragged out to the go shopping in Tesco. She had wandered off to the CD aisle with the little pocket money she had, when an album caught her eye. It was ‘Lungs’ by Florence + The Machine. Hazel had heard the song ‘Dog Days Are Over’ before, and a friend had given the album a positive review, so she picked it up and on an impulse went and purchased the album that would change her life.
Lungs soon became the soundtrack to Hazel’s summer. Their sound was different to anything else she had ever heard. The music was so beautifully composed to reflect the haunting lyrics. Though Hazel never felt they were able to live up to Lungs, the album inspired many of her own lyrical attempts. Hazel eventually got the boy, the friends, and had Lungs playing in the background as it slowly carved its way into her heart, soul and history.
As her teenage years began slowly slipping away from Hazel, everything started to fall apart. She had been left heartbroken, friendships began to buckle and fall apart, and Hazel gained a much less than favourable
reputation. In the Autumn of 2010 she had even begun self-harming in a desperate bid to escape the complications that her life had developed. She felt that those she trusted were too often letting her down, leaving her isolated.
While she was struggling to stay afloat in this life, things were also falling apart around her at home. After many years living in an unhappy marriage, her parents decided to split up. Hazel remembers the anger she
felt as her parents fought over her, both wanting her to take their side. The worst fight she can recall was over Hazel choosing her father over her mother. As Hazel sat at the top of the stairs crying she wondered if her parents’ relationship would become the blueprint for the rest of her own.
2011 was a very dark year. The long divorce process began between her parents, and Hazel couldn’t add her own problems into the mix. More failed relationships meant Hazel had managed to push away more people, isolating herself from the world bit by bit. The only thing she let in was music. The dark themes in Lungs were her saviour, the world, and the band telling her that she was not alone. They spoke to her in a way that nothing else could. The lyrics in ‘Blinding’, “no more dreaming like a girl, so in love with the wrong world”, reflected how she felt about herself. She would sit and listen to it in bed at night, crying her heart out.
October of that year was to become the lowest point in her life. She had completely shut herself out from the world. It was just Hazel and Florence. She was completely alone, until she wasn’t. There was a guy that she knew was feeling as empty as she was, who she trusted and let into her world. She trusted him to much, and after he got what he wanted, he betrayed her and told her that she has been ‘the biggest mistake of his life’.
That was the final stroke for Hazel. Not only was she now the ‘slut’, but she was alone again. No one around her had the patience to care anymore, as if she had become invisible. Her family was a mess, the recent passing of an uncle only adding to the pain. Everything was wrong.
That was when Hazel planned her suicide.
She was going to sneak out of the house in the dark hours of the night, walk across to the beach, fill her pockets with stones and walk into the sea. She had only one reservation – she wanted to listen to Ceremonials before she died.
And that is when Florence + The Machine saved the life of Hazel Coleman.
To this day Hazel believes that has she not waited to hear Ceremonials she would have taken her own life. At the time, she had the guts and the right frame of mind to do it.
The 31st of October changed Hazel. As soon as ‘Only If For A Night’ started she knew this album would be perfect and deliver home some much needed truths. Hazel cried her way through the tracks. ‘What The Water Gave Me’ had Hazel convinced that Florence knew of her intentions, and was singing directly to her. ‘Never Let Me Go’ was the same, as if Florence was telling her that she couldn’t give up, or just give in. Hazel remembers sitting on the floor, crying in a daze as Florence sang to her, telling her to live.
The few months after that night were tough. She felt strong urges to end it all, but with Ceremonials on her side she fought back at life and tried to find a reason to live. And that she did: Florence + The Machine were coming on tour.
The 4th of March, 2012 was one of the best days of her life. The whole band just a few metres in front of her, playing the songs that saved her life. She could have spent the whole gig screaming at the stage,
telling them exactly what they meant to her, and what they had done for her, but they wouldn’t have heard through the thousands of fans telling the same stories. The night was perfect, and for the first time in a long time Hazel cried tears of joy, rather than the sadness that she had come to know.
With her own family broken, Hazel found a new one to allow her heart to call home. She had suddenly found herself as a Flow, part of the family. I had found people who loved, admired and owed so much to the band just as she did. Everyone was so lovely, and she found many new friends to talk to about the band and to just have a laugh. It was an incredible feeling to belong somewhere, and somewhere so established to even have their own book club!
She had become resigned to the fact that she wouldn’t get to see the band again for a while, but she was wrong. The universe surprised her yet again, and she saw Florence _ The Machine live for a second time on the 4th of December 2012. She cried just as much as the first time, if not more. From her place at the front of the crowd she recognised many around her as Flows. That made the night even more special as the laughed and celebrated together. The best part of the night for Hazel was during a silence in the crowd between songs, when Hazel was able to Tom Monger’s attention. Not only did he see her, but he waved and blew her a kiss. He later tweeted her apologizing that they were unable to meet, to which Hazel replied that he had ‘practically made her life’.
Hazel still finds it so hard to believe that the kindness of the band members to their fans has led them to know of her existence. Tom often tweets her with advice as she starts to learn to play the harp, the lovely Sam is always kind enough to reply to everyone, and on her 18th, Tom, Sam and Chris all send her birthday wishes. Even her queens, Florence + Isabella, have retweeted her on occasion.
Hazel owes Florence + The Machine so much. They gave her the courage and the strength to see her through her teenage years. Though she still battles with depression, she finally stopped self-harming, and she is alive. She knows she will eventually get better, and that there is always hope for her, a lesson she learnt from Florence.
Hazel intends to get several tattoos to pay homage to Florence + The Machine and all they had done for her – a birdcage, a harp and a rabbit. Her own battle scars to remind her how far she has come, and how their music helped her through the darkest times in her life. Their lyrics will always be a part of who she is.
One day she hopes to meet the band in person, and tell them how much they mean to her. They saved her life, and inspired her to go on to reach her goals. She knows that she would be dead if it were not for them, and she is so glad that they helped her to realise just how much there is to live for.
Thank you Hazel for bravely sharing your incredible story with us! We are so glad that you had Florence + The Machine to guide you through those dark times and pull you through to the other side. Now you not only have the band and their music, but the entire Flow family to be there for you whenever you need.
We hope you enjoyed this weeks Flow Feature! We would love to hear your story next. All you need to do is send it to us via email or through our website and your story could be before the eyes of the entire Flow
community.
Inspiring Flows xXx
For Hazel, that first moment of discovery was during the summer holidays in 2009. She was fourteen at the time, but remembers that exact moment that Florence + The Machine entered and changed her life. It was the last holiday that Hazel would be free from the workforce, and she had spent it well, chatting on the internet with friends, listening to music and writing her own songs. As her years of freedom were coming to a close, the years of rebellion and pushing boundaries were just beginning. She had started talking to a boy
that would tragically go on to be her first love, started hanging out with new people and drinking energy drinks, all the while thinking she was ‘so cool’.
Later in the holidays while staying with her grandparents, Hazel was dragged out to the go shopping in Tesco. She had wandered off to the CD aisle with the little pocket money she had, when an album caught her eye. It was ‘Lungs’ by Florence + The Machine. Hazel had heard the song ‘Dog Days Are Over’ before, and a friend had given the album a positive review, so she picked it up and on an impulse went and purchased the album that would change her life.
Lungs soon became the soundtrack to Hazel’s summer. Their sound was different to anything else she had ever heard. The music was so beautifully composed to reflect the haunting lyrics. Though Hazel never felt they were able to live up to Lungs, the album inspired many of her own lyrical attempts. Hazel eventually got the boy, the friends, and had Lungs playing in the background as it slowly carved its way into her heart, soul and history.
As her teenage years began slowly slipping away from Hazel, everything started to fall apart. She had been left heartbroken, friendships began to buckle and fall apart, and Hazel gained a much less than favourable
reputation. In the Autumn of 2010 she had even begun self-harming in a desperate bid to escape the complications that her life had developed. She felt that those she trusted were too often letting her down, leaving her isolated.
While she was struggling to stay afloat in this life, things were also falling apart around her at home. After many years living in an unhappy marriage, her parents decided to split up. Hazel remembers the anger she
felt as her parents fought over her, both wanting her to take their side. The worst fight she can recall was over Hazel choosing her father over her mother. As Hazel sat at the top of the stairs crying she wondered if her parents’ relationship would become the blueprint for the rest of her own.
2011 was a very dark year. The long divorce process began between her parents, and Hazel couldn’t add her own problems into the mix. More failed relationships meant Hazel had managed to push away more people, isolating herself from the world bit by bit. The only thing she let in was music. The dark themes in Lungs were her saviour, the world, and the band telling her that she was not alone. They spoke to her in a way that nothing else could. The lyrics in ‘Blinding’, “no more dreaming like a girl, so in love with the wrong world”, reflected how she felt about herself. She would sit and listen to it in bed at night, crying her heart out.
October of that year was to become the lowest point in her life. She had completely shut herself out from the world. It was just Hazel and Florence. She was completely alone, until she wasn’t. There was a guy that she knew was feeling as empty as she was, who she trusted and let into her world. She trusted him to much, and after he got what he wanted, he betrayed her and told her that she has been ‘the biggest mistake of his life’.
That was the final stroke for Hazel. Not only was she now the ‘slut’, but she was alone again. No one around her had the patience to care anymore, as if she had become invisible. Her family was a mess, the recent passing of an uncle only adding to the pain. Everything was wrong.
That was when Hazel planned her suicide.
She was going to sneak out of the house in the dark hours of the night, walk across to the beach, fill her pockets with stones and walk into the sea. She had only one reservation – she wanted to listen to Ceremonials before she died.
And that is when Florence + The Machine saved the life of Hazel Coleman.
To this day Hazel believes that has she not waited to hear Ceremonials she would have taken her own life. At the time, she had the guts and the right frame of mind to do it.
The 31st of October changed Hazel. As soon as ‘Only If For A Night’ started she knew this album would be perfect and deliver home some much needed truths. Hazel cried her way through the tracks. ‘What The Water Gave Me’ had Hazel convinced that Florence knew of her intentions, and was singing directly to her. ‘Never Let Me Go’ was the same, as if Florence was telling her that she couldn’t give up, or just give in. Hazel remembers sitting on the floor, crying in a daze as Florence sang to her, telling her to live.
The few months after that night were tough. She felt strong urges to end it all, but with Ceremonials on her side she fought back at life and tried to find a reason to live. And that she did: Florence + The Machine were coming on tour.
The 4th of March, 2012 was one of the best days of her life. The whole band just a few metres in front of her, playing the songs that saved her life. She could have spent the whole gig screaming at the stage,
telling them exactly what they meant to her, and what they had done for her, but they wouldn’t have heard through the thousands of fans telling the same stories. The night was perfect, and for the first time in a long time Hazel cried tears of joy, rather than the sadness that she had come to know.
With her own family broken, Hazel found a new one to allow her heart to call home. She had suddenly found herself as a Flow, part of the family. I had found people who loved, admired and owed so much to the band just as she did. Everyone was so lovely, and she found many new friends to talk to about the band and to just have a laugh. It was an incredible feeling to belong somewhere, and somewhere so established to even have their own book club!
She had become resigned to the fact that she wouldn’t get to see the band again for a while, but she was wrong. The universe surprised her yet again, and she saw Florence _ The Machine live for a second time on the 4th of December 2012. She cried just as much as the first time, if not more. From her place at the front of the crowd she recognised many around her as Flows. That made the night even more special as the laughed and celebrated together. The best part of the night for Hazel was during a silence in the crowd between songs, when Hazel was able to Tom Monger’s attention. Not only did he see her, but he waved and blew her a kiss. He later tweeted her apologizing that they were unable to meet, to which Hazel replied that he had ‘practically made her life’.
Hazel still finds it so hard to believe that the kindness of the band members to their fans has led them to know of her existence. Tom often tweets her with advice as she starts to learn to play the harp, the lovely Sam is always kind enough to reply to everyone, and on her 18th, Tom, Sam and Chris all send her birthday wishes. Even her queens, Florence + Isabella, have retweeted her on occasion.
Hazel owes Florence + The Machine so much. They gave her the courage and the strength to see her through her teenage years. Though she still battles with depression, she finally stopped self-harming, and she is alive. She knows she will eventually get better, and that there is always hope for her, a lesson she learnt from Florence.
Hazel intends to get several tattoos to pay homage to Florence + The Machine and all they had done for her – a birdcage, a harp and a rabbit. Her own battle scars to remind her how far she has come, and how their music helped her through the darkest times in her life. Their lyrics will always be a part of who she is.
One day she hopes to meet the band in person, and tell them how much they mean to her. They saved her life, and inspired her to go on to reach her goals. She knows that she would be dead if it were not for them, and she is so glad that they helped her to realise just how much there is to live for.
Thank you Hazel for bravely sharing your incredible story with us! We are so glad that you had Florence + The Machine to guide you through those dark times and pull you through to the other side. Now you not only have the band and their music, but the entire Flow family to be there for you whenever you need.
We hope you enjoyed this weeks Flow Feature! We would love to hear your story next. All you need to do is send it to us via email or through our website and your story could be before the eyes of the entire Flow
community.
Inspiring Flows xXx
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